there are three types of figures that you want in your life to help you achieve your goals: role models, peers, and supportive figures. as you steer the ship through the vast, unchartered ocean of your future, they will be your loyal crewmates that stand by your side on your enduring adventure of life, braving through the tempests and celebrating the calm waters.

role models

role models are people who possess traits that you admire and that align with your goals. you wish to learn from them and inherit their good traits so that you can better yourself, and ultimately be one of the reasons why you have reached important milestones in your life. a role model should be a motivator in your life that keeps you going. a role model may be a person you are close with, but they do not have to be.

no one is perfect; you do not have to agree with everything that your role model says or does. you can choose to have multiple (but not too many) role models, each possessing different characters that you want to learn from.

as an example, elon musk is one of my role models. i admire his persistence on his work, especially spacex. had he let doubters (proclaimed experts) of his work stop him from continuing, tesla would not have become what it is today - a major american automaker, and spacex would have likely been an insignificant chapter in history. however, i regularly disagree with his politics, and i especially do not appreciate the way he is carrying himself.

peers

peers are people with with you actively work, whether they be co-workers, schoolmates, even co-founders. your peers and you form a rapid feedback loop that constantly guides you. since you work closely together, you learn from them as much as they do from you. they should one of the primary sources that help perfect your craft. hence, they should be people that are more knowledgable and more experienced. to quote an old chinese saying:

a friend that is honorable, honest, and knowledgable is a good one.

it is crucial that you surround yourself with good peers. for me, choosing to be active on twitter allows me to surround myself with people that are “good friends” - honorable, honest, and way more knowledgable that i am.

while comparison should not be a thief of your joy, a healthy dose of comparison will be a powerful motivator for you to keep learning and be more skillful. compare yourself to your peers: what are something that they are knowledgable in but that i am not? what are they doing to help them achieve what they want, and will it be helpful to myself? make a note of your answers to those questions, and act accordingly. do not be let down by the fact that you are not as good as them. instead, make action plans to fill your knowledge gap. incorporate their habits into your life. do not be afraid to ask questions. you are in control.

supportive figures

finally, supportive figures are people that may not be directly involved with your field of work, but that provide mental support and companionship. they are the people that you trust enough to vent to, to ask for life advice, and to cheer you up when you are feeling low. do not underestimate the power that they provide - i have learned, the hard way, that having someone you feel comfortable with having deep conversations, are crucial to not only let your inner problems out but also your personal development as well.

think of the part of your mind that stores your negative emotions and experiences as a pressure pot. not having a supportive figure is akin to having the valve of the pot sealed. as the content inside the pot inevitably grows, there comes a point where the pot cannot cope with the immense pressure built up over time and explodes - a mental explosion. some may resort to substances, but abusing substance is like removing the pressure meter from the pot. the pressure is still there, but you just cannot see it.

i understand it may not easy to find a person that you trust. unfortunately, i am not in a position to provide any advice in this regard, as much as i would like to, because this is a personal matter that only you can decide for yourself.